The worlds of Bart Simpson quotes! Bart Simpson is one of the most beloved characters from the long-running hit series The Simpsons. He is a mischievous, rebellious, and often hilarious character who has been making us laugh for over 30 years. In this article, we will take a look at some of the best and funniest Bart Simpson quotes that have kept us entertained for years!
Best Bart Simpson Quotes
#️⃣ “Look in my eyes. See the conviction? See the sincerity? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!”
“There’s only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!”
#️⃣ “Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”
#️⃣ “Well, enjoy it while you can. Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go. Candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.”
#️⃣ “Nothing you say can upset us. We’re the MTV generation.”
#️⃣ “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that? I’m insulted.”
#️⃣ “You got the brains and talent to go as far as you want and when you do, I’ll be right there to borrow money.”
#️⃣ “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”
#️⃣ “Well, if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
Famous Bart Simpson Quotes
#️⃣ “Well, we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself. But Dad seemed cautiously optimistic.”
#️⃣ “I wasn’t going to gamble. I just wanted a Bloody Mary.”
#️⃣ “No, you don’t understand. I tried. I really tried.”
#️⃣ “You know kid, with your smarts and my Barts, we make a good team!”
#️⃣ “You did it, Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you’re the coolest kid I’ve ever met.”
#️⃣ “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?”
#️⃣ “Oh please. This is senseless destruction with none of my usual social commentary.”
#️⃣ “You’re asking the wrong guy, Milhouse, you’re asking the wrong guy.”
#️⃣ “You look kind of young.”
#️⃣ “But who’d want to hurt me? I’m this century’s Dennis the Menace!”
#️⃣ “My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!”
#️⃣ “You make me sick, Homer. You’re the one that told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.”
#️⃣ “Look, everybody, I would just as soon not make a big deal out of this. I’m not saying I’m not a hero, I’m just saying that I fear for my safety.”
“I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.”
#️⃣ “From now on I’ll dominate you in ways you don’t realize.”
Wise Bart Simpson Quotes That Just Make Sense
#️⃣ “Do you think I’m telling people not to have a cow because deep down I want them to have a cow?”
#️⃣ “Without awards shows, how would I know what movie has the best beheading or that Glee is a comedy?”
#️⃣ “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you’ve just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars. With the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and Star Wars trilogy.”
#️⃣ “If you don’t watch the violence, you’ll never get desensitized to it.”
#️⃣ “A minute of fun, a lifetime of work. I’ve never heard of pregnancy like this.”
#️⃣ “No, no, no. You’re too young to be a witch. Savor the steps leading up to it. College anorexic, a string of bad marriages, career disappointments, failed pottery shop. And then when you’re old and alone you can hit the witch thing hard.”
#️⃣ “I’ve learned that even made-up corporate shills can lie to you.”
#️⃣ “Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.”
Bart Simpson Quotes That Show His Mischievous Personality
#️⃣ “I understand why. You were wasted.”
#️⃣ “Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.”
#️⃣ “Mom, Dad, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia.”
#️⃣ “Stupid Catholic school. Suffering for my hip attitude. I’m the real Jesus here.”
#️⃣ “I really don’t want to be here, Dad! Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.”
#️⃣ “Hey Mr. Burns, can I go with you to get the treasure? I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong.”
#️⃣ “I didn’t do it! Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything!”
#️⃣ “I’m halfway through it, I swear!”
Bart Simpson Quotes for You to Understand Their Family Dynamics
#️⃣ “So much for the days when I could say, ‘At least my mother’s normal.’”
#️⃣ “I cheated on the intelligence test. I’m sorry. But I just want to say that the past few weeks have been great. Me and you have done stuff together. You’ve helped me out with things and we’re closer than we’ve ever been. I love you, Dad. And I think if something can bring us that close it can’t possibly be bad.”
“Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.”
#️⃣ “Your Honor, it’s not easy being my parents. I’m always screwing up in school and getting in trouble with the law. But if I grow up to be a halfway-decent person, I know it’ll be because of my mom and dad. Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will.”
#️⃣ “Homer, your half-ass under-parenting was better than your half-assed over-parenting.”
Funny Bart Simpson Quotes
#️⃣ “I saved you.”
#️⃣ “That’s not fair! I’m 10 times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!”
#️⃣ “Come on, Milhouse. There’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids. Like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.”
#️⃣ “We flushed the gator down the toilet but it got stuck halfway so now we have to feed it.”
#️⃣ “I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”
Bart Simpson Quotes That Zoom in on His Self-Image
#️⃣ “I’ve done everything I could and I’ve only got 35 bucks! Ugh! I am through with working, working is for chumps.”
#️⃣ “Stupid angry mob, chasing me because I shine a harsh light on modern society. Now I know how Dane Cook feels.”
#️⃣ “Who am I kidding? I really am a failure! Oh, now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754.”
#️⃣ “All you need to know is that I’m a politeness monster who eats ‘pleases’ and farts ‘thank yous’, ma’am.”
#️⃣ “How could someone so much like me be a loser?”
#️⃣ “I’ve done a lot of bad stuff through the years. Now I’m paying the price but there are so many things I’ll never get a chance to do: smoke a cigarette, use a fake ID, shave a swear word in my hair.”
More Bart Simpson Quotes to Understand His Views on Girls
#️⃣ “No one with a choice should ever have to be a girl. I’ll teach you how to be a boy.”
#️⃣ “Lis, women are easy. State capitols are hard.”
#️⃣ “She’s like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.”
#️⃣ “I said I’m human, not a girl.”
Bart Simpson quotes that turned into famous catchphrases
#️⃣ “Whoa, mama!” ― Bart Simpson
“Eat my shorts!” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “Aw, Geez!” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “Don’t have a cow, man.” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “Ay, caramba!” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “Get bent.” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “I’m Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “Hey, cool, I’m dead.” ― Bart Simpson
#️⃣ “I didn’t do it! Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything!” ― Bart Simpson
Conclusion
Bart Simpson quotes is an iconic character who has given us some truly memorable over the years. His wit, sarcasm, and humor have made him beloved by generations of TV viewers. Whether you’re in need of a laugh or some words of wisdom, Bart Simpson has got you covered.